Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Hey Hey Freedom: Double Spine

It’s good to be prepared. Rigid. Mr. Murrgary knew the importance of a Plan and sticking to it. It was the people in the world that didn’t focus and got nothing done that had time for impregnating each other and populating the world with more listless and worthless Eaters and Shitters.
Those were the people getting laid. THOSE WERE THE PEOPLE GETTING LAID!
Mr. Murrgary dropped his credit card by the soccer field. He noticed that it was not in his hand as soon as the card had left it. He was a pro at trouble-shooting. It was all part of being well prepared and Mr. Murrgary was certainly that.
Can you pay a hitman with a credit card? This he didn’t know. It was one part of the Plan that he had put off because he had no idea how to find this information out without exposing his Plan to another human, a human that might tell the police. He considered most humans possible Leaks and avoided the majority of them altogether. He must be slipping. “I must be slipping,” he thought to himself. “I slipped up,” he said aloud.
Well, I’ll tell you what, it is impossible to pay a hit man with a credit card if the credit card is by the soccer field and the hitman is patiently waiting by the jungle gym about 50 yards away.
It would have been a simple matter to bend down and pick up the little rectangle of plastic a little less than a year ago, before Mr. Murrgary had his second ventral spine installed. He never felt prepared enough with only one.
There had to be someone around with only one spine that might simply bend at the waist and solve all of Mr. Murrgary problems, right?
“So considering this is a goddamn playground you would think a kid would come by at some point and I could get the little piss to pick this thing up for me?” Mr. Murrgary thought to himself.
“Double Fuck.” he said aloud.

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